True Life: 5th Grade Writing (+ Handful Giveaway Reminder!!)

Have you entered my giveaway to win a Handful Bra?  What are you waiting for??? (Note: If you have MORE than just a handful, don't assume this bra won't work for you!  It is surprisingly supportive, but if it's not quite up to the challenge for you for running, it would still be a great bra for yoga, lounging, or low-impact sports!)

It's been awhile since I shared some of the epic, hysterical writing I get to read on a daily basis from my 5th graders. Seriously, while I despise grading and while grading writing can be time consuming, reading kids' writing can be pretty darn hilarious.  I haven't had anything quite as epic this year as the Ode to Justin Bieber or the amazing truth about boys song, "Big Big Lie," but these gems are pretty darn great...


Assignment: "Write a narrative about a problem you have solved."  This student wrote about when her dog, Julie, escaped.  Love the figurative language at the end of this paragraph...

Assignment: "Write about an animal that has a bad reputation, but who you think is really just misunderstood."

Worms!!! People think that words are nasty and slimy.  They are wrong.  Words are very helpful to your plants.  They eat all the little bugs that try to eat your plants.  Thanks to worms they protect them.  Worms also make great compost.  Their poop helps make compost.  Compost really helps your plants.  Worms are great helpers.  Worms are the best helper that help your plants grow.  Worms can not be used as a pet.  Only in your backyard and your garden.  Go worms!!

Another animal that has a bad reputation is an alligator.  Alligators are very misunderstood.  People think alligators want to kill them, but really alligators just want to go the opposite way and ignore people.  The only reason alligators bite is because they want to protect themselves from enemies or things that dislike them.  They have a reason to be upset with us.  We kill them for their skin to put on shoes and purses.  We kill them for fun, and we kill them for their meat.  I'm not trying to say that I'm on their side, but they have a reason to be viscid.  But to them we're the vicious ones.

"Aaaah!  A spider!  Kill it!"  That's what most people say when they see a spider because they think they are really dangerous.  Actually, some spiders help us a lot because they eat and kill insects that are pestful or harmful.  Not all spiders are dangerous because some spiders bite and put venom in, but not all spiders do.  Some spiders help us by protecting us from harmful things by eating them.  Did you know that we're actually invading their home?  From now on when you see a spider let it be or set it free and we'll all be okay."

This one isn't funny, but it melted my heart.  This is from one of my tougher kiddos who has a rough home life, struggles with a learning disability, and is prone to shutting down when things are tough.  I loved reading this.  Assignment: "What Native American 'true name' would you give yourself?"

And of course, what post about elementary student work would be complete without a teacher portrait...

The resemblance is uncanny...Sweater boots and all. :)