yikes

When Dan Brown of The Great Expectations School came and spoke to my senior seminar class last year about his teaching experience in the Bronx, he told us how there were weeks when he was literally just coming into school and teaching for that one child. He would tell himself, if I can just help one child... On the days when the staff and students made him crazy, he'd think of that one child who was paying attention and learning and listening. When Dan Brown told us that last year in CLA 101, we all kind of laughed. One child? please.

Now, after leaving the comfortable walls of CLA and entering the actual classroom, I'm finding myself wondering how I will possibly make it through the year. And I'm finding myself saying the very same thing: "If it weren't for this student, I swear I wouldn't make it..." I know, I'm probably being dramatic. Of course I will make it though the year. But it seems like all I can think about is how I'm not doing a good enough job, how there are so many kids I'm already not helping enough, and how they're going to wear me down before I have a chance to make an impact.

But tomorrow I will still go to school, and if that handful of kids gets me down, at lest I can look to "that one student" and his immaculate desk and organized folders and think, 'thank goodness i have ONE who knows what to do at school!'

Wow, i really need some sleep. I got to school this morning at 5:45am and left at 6:45pm. Tomorrow I think I'm going to sleep in until 5:15...I know, I'm a rebel. :/ Here's hoping tomorrow is a good day.