October 4, 2010

Yes!!! Now, THIS is what I'm talking about!!!

At the end of the day today, I discovered one of the kiddos' writing journals on my desk with a post-it sticking out of it.  On the top of the post-it was written, "Please read this," and it was marking a story that this kiddo has been working on for the past week and a half or so.  After our Desert Voices lesson awhile back, the students did quick-writes from animals' points of view.  After reading this student's story this afternoon, I had a big smile on my face--HE TOTALLY GOT IT!!! YES!  I would have taken a picture of the journal, but this student is something of a minimalist--he writes sooo lightly with his pencil and uses such tiny printing that I can barely read it!  But I don't say anything because it is VASTLY superior to the chicken scratch that is most fifth graders' handwriting...  Anyways, here is his amazing piece:

What am I?  I have four legs and I am very fast.  you guessed it, I am a cheetah hunting for my cuvs.  My cubs are with me also.  Im teaching them how tp hunt./  I am very fast leaping over rocks and cactus.  I am leaving my cubs.  I better slow down.  OH NO I see a lion right behind my cubs.  So i fight the lion off while my cubs are still running.  I am so tired so then I just decide to run to catch up to my cubs.  I roar and give my cubs the signal to find a good place to hide.  So then i dashed up and that's when my cubs stop because they are tired.  I try to encourage them to keep going but the lion is far back so I wait with my cubs as I see the lion more and more.  My cubs finally aren't tired no more so I grabbed them by their neck with my mouth and I run.  I am very worried for my cubs.  All of a sudden I hear a huge roar.  I see a humongous family.  I am very worried for my cubs.  Since lions hunt in packs I'm scared too.  My family tried to run but then... 

Oh writing workshop...thank you for teaching my students to love writing. :)

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