One of my biggest goals for myself this year was to embrace Writing Workshop and implement it the RIGHT WAY. I attended a few workshops, read a few books, and had a lot of conversations with my mentor Mrs. H and my wonderful lit specialist the fabulous Mrs. J. I was excited all summer to start the year off teaching writing this way and to build by "workshop" structure in the classroom. And as I was planning my first week of school, I figured there was no better time to start than the very first day of school. My mom (also a teacher) thinks I'm crazy for starting curriculum the first day, but so much of writing community, which is a perfect beginning of the year idea.
I am dedicating the entire first month of school to "ideas" lessons, or writing mini-lessons that focus on developing an idea for a writing piece, then setting it aside and continuing to brainstorm new ideas. The hope is that the students will generate so many ideas for writing pieces that they will never be able to say, "I have nothing to write about!!!" (Who hasn't heard that before...I can even hear it in this whining high-pitched voice in my head as I type it...) Today's mini-lesson was based on the theme "Summer Memories." I read aloud an adorable picture book called Wilfrid Gordon McDonald Partridge about a boy who collects a box of "memories" to share with an elderly friend who has lost her memory. As he shares each object with her, she remembers things in her own life. We then discussed how the objects in the book made us remember things in our own lives, too, and added some of these memories to our ongoing "ideas list" on the writing board. The kids' homework assignment tonight is to find an object at home that represents one of their summer memories.
I loved teaching this lesson. I will never understand how some teachers of intermediate grades don't see the value in read alouds or picture books or gathering students on the carpet for a lesson. They are not too old for these things. There is something magic about gathering close together as a class and sharing a story together. Not only did my students listen intently and share their own observations about the story, but when they returned to their desks with the assignment "Write about a summer memory you have, OR write about anything you want!" they did!. Yes, there were a few students I had to approach and whisper, "It's time to get started. Let's try and get 3 sentences on your paper before time is up." But what an auspicious beginning.
I am genuinely excited to see what the near future of our writing workshop holds in store. :)
August 24, 2010
Optimism
Last Thursday afternoon as I sat in my classroom writing names and numbers on folders, book bins, name tags, clothes pins, you name it, I began to have something of an anxiety attack. Ever Miss Worrier, I stared down at my class list of 21 strangers (yes, my initial class was 21 students. As of today, I am up to 25 and officially out of desks and coat hooks...) and convinced myself that half of them were going to be behavior problems and that the year was going to be just as rough as last year. My basis for this? Zero. I had no idea who these children were, save 1 or 2 that I'd heard about from the previous teacher, but Little Miss Sunshine me decided that obviously they were all going to be crazy.
After working so hard to form relationships with last year's group, it was just daunting to me to have to start getting to know an entire new bunch of STRANGERS, to earn their trust, and "get them to fall in love with me" (as Fay & Funk would say in Love & Logic aka my teaching bible). At the same time, though, I was also excited to have a fresh start--a chance to really hammer home those routines that I was still figuring out last year. Anyways, I did manage to calm down, mostly by talking to my 4th grade teacher friend Miss R. She reassured me that they were overall a great group. Every class in our school has a handful of difficult students (there just aren't enough classes between which to spread them out!), so I was prepared for that, but there are of course so many wonderful students here too.
After that, I pulled myself together and stopped freaking out. My room was completely pulled together by Friday, my copies were made, and I had my first few weeks outlined. Logistically, I was ready to go. However, I still spent the whole weekend pretty nervous. Mostly I think I was/am nervous about laying that foundation of high expectations, routines, and procedures. I don't want my students to develop any habits right off the bat or think that I will let them get away with anything. Last year I knew the importance of building routines as preventative classroom management. The only problem was that I didn't know what kinds of routines worked for me! After a lot of trial and error last year (and a lot of learning on my part!), I think the systems I'm implementing this year really work for me and will work for my kids. Of course, I also learned last year how critical it is to adapt and reteach the SECOND you realize your current routine isn't working.
This morning I entered my classroom optimistic and in high spirits after a successful meet and greet last night. I was amazed at the sense of familiarity I felt writing the schedule on the board, organizing materials, and previewing my lesson plans. I have done this before. While there will be many things to learn and many surprises, I feel far less FRANTIC than I did last year. It's a wonderful feeling.
While I know we will be in the "honeymoon" stage most of this week, I know that even when my students' natural squirleyness kicks in I will be ready: I know that as important as it is to capture my students hearts and get them to love and trust me, it's equally important to be consistent, to crack down on disruptive/inappropriate behaviors immediately, and to reteach routines until they become second nature.
Most importantly, I know that no matter what, I can handle whatever happens this year. I will make it through. :)
After working so hard to form relationships with last year's group, it was just daunting to me to have to start getting to know an entire new bunch of STRANGERS, to earn their trust, and "get them to fall in love with me" (as Fay & Funk would say in Love & Logic aka my teaching bible). At the same time, though, I was also excited to have a fresh start--a chance to really hammer home those routines that I was still figuring out last year. Anyways, I did manage to calm down, mostly by talking to my 4th grade teacher friend Miss R. She reassured me that they were overall a great group. Every class in our school has a handful of difficult students (there just aren't enough classes between which to spread them out!), so I was prepared for that, but there are of course so many wonderful students here too.
After that, I pulled myself together and stopped freaking out. My room was completely pulled together by Friday, my copies were made, and I had my first few weeks outlined. Logistically, I was ready to go. However, I still spent the whole weekend pretty nervous. Mostly I think I was/am nervous about laying that foundation of high expectations, routines, and procedures. I don't want my students to develop any habits right off the bat or think that I will let them get away with anything. Last year I knew the importance of building routines as preventative classroom management. The only problem was that I didn't know what kinds of routines worked for me! After a lot of trial and error last year (and a lot of learning on my part!), I think the systems I'm implementing this year really work for me and will work for my kids. Of course, I also learned last year how critical it is to adapt and reteach the SECOND you realize your current routine isn't working.
This morning I entered my classroom optimistic and in high spirits after a successful meet and greet last night. I was amazed at the sense of familiarity I felt writing the schedule on the board, organizing materials, and previewing my lesson plans. I have done this before. While there will be many things to learn and many surprises, I feel far less FRANTIC than I did last year. It's a wonderful feeling.
While I know we will be in the "honeymoon" stage most of this week, I know that even when my students' natural squirleyness kicks in I will be ready: I know that as important as it is to capture my students hearts and get them to love and trust me, it's equally important to be consistent, to crack down on disruptive/inappropriate behaviors immediately, and to reteach routines until they become second nature.
Most importantly, I know that no matter what, I can handle whatever happens this year. I will make it through. :)
First Day!
I'll admit it...I had to hit the snooze button this morning. Already. It's the first day of school, and I'm already exhausted!! Maybe I should have "practiced" getting into the back-to-school routine...oh well! maybe next year!! Because I know this will be a long, busy, exciting day, I'm starting out with a delicious breakfast PACKED with protein: oatmeal with banana, blueberries, peanut butter, and sunflower seeds. YUM! Let's hope it holds me until our new late lunch time at 12:15 (I know that sounds normal, but last year I got very used to an 11:15 lunch. This could mean a lot of stomach growling all morning!!)
Here's to hoping the 01-11 school year is just as rewarding as the 09-10, but maybe with a few less tears and late nights at school. :)
(PS- today is the MUCH awaited debut of book 3 in the Hunger Games trilogy, Mockingjay! Words cannot express my excitement. Book review on all 3 books in the trilogy to come soon!)
August 23, 2010
Twas the night before the first day of school...
After a wonderful summer and a hiatus from this blog, I'm happy to say I decided to blog about year number 2. This is going to have to be a very short post though, as I'm completely exhausted from my first 5:30am wake up day in months. Yikes, how did I used to do this every day? Let's hope my body figures out what's going on in a hurry. Anyways, after a meeting-filled day and a meet-and-greet filled with seemingly sweet children and mostly normal parents (except for one whom I will describe in detail in the near future...don't worry...), I'm feeling optimistic about the first day tomorrow. I've read an reread my battered, dogeared, post-ited copy of Teaching with Love and Logic, proofread my plans too many times to count, packed my lunch, and set out my outfit. And I have to say, I'm feeling good. So I'm heading off to bed in search of 7 1/2 hours of sleep with this prayer in my head (because let's face it, I can use all the help I can get!):
From Chalkdust by Elspeth Campbell Murphy
"On the Night Before School Starts"
School starts tomorrow, Lord, and I'm nervous.
Ease my anxiety.
Give me confidence,
and let my confidence give the children security.
Let my external control
be a means of promoting their inner control,
so that classroom order
becomes a shared responsibility.
Let me have the kind of self-control
that teaches by example.
And let my discipline be patterned after yours,
rooted in a love
that will setltle for nothing less than their best.
School starts tomorrow, Lord; make me ready.
You have given me a job to do
and the ability to do it well.
You have given me your promise that you will never leave me.
And you have guided me in all my preparation.
So now let me face tomorrow
eagerly and unafraid,
for ultimately my confidence rests in this:
"I am ready for anything
through the strength of the one
who lives within me" (Phil,4:13).
From Chalkdust by Elspeth Campbell Murphy
"On the Night Before School Starts"
School starts tomorrow, Lord, and I'm nervous.
Ease my anxiety.
Give me confidence,
and let my confidence give the children security.
Let my external control
be a means of promoting their inner control,
so that classroom order
becomes a shared responsibility.
Let me have the kind of self-control
that teaches by example.
And let my discipline be patterned after yours,
rooted in a love
that will setltle for nothing less than their best.
School starts tomorrow, Lord; make me ready.
You have given me a job to do
and the ability to do it well.
You have given me your promise that you will never leave me.
And you have guided me in all my preparation.
So now let me face tomorrow
eagerly and unafraid,
for ultimately my confidence rests in this:
"I am ready for anything
through the strength of the one
who lives within me" (Phil,4:13).
June 7, 2010
June 3, 2010
What touched my heart today:
As my focus as of late has been on the frantic packing of my classroom, I'd like to share the two moments this afternoon that made the whole day so special (and almost made up for the desk-cleaning-out-hell of the afternoon...):
While I have many difficult students, there are two in particular who tend to take the cake when it comes to disruption. Both have really great personalities and soooo much potential, and both have come so far this year. Both also have pretty severe ADHD that makes them impulsive and at times flat out out-of-control. Anyways, today, one of the two students brought me a small gift bag when he came into the room. I opened it over lunch and found a glazed ceramic puppy. (SO not my taste, but so, so, so adorable nonetheless). When I read the card from his mother and him, I was absolutely touched to hear that the two of them had glazed it together (it looked really professional!) and fired it. This student had also scrawled a note in the card saying, "Thanks for dealing with me." While part of that note makes me sad, part of it for some reason I can't explain is very touching. I will keep my little puppy statue on my bookshelf in the room next year, and always think of the adventures with this goofy student who both drives me CRAZY and makes me laugh.
Later, during my bookshelf-wrapping mania this afternoon, my classroom phone rang. On the caller ID I saw a familiar name and number--the mother of my MOST challenging student, with whom I have spoken so many times this year I had her number memorized at one point. Let me just take a moment to sing her praises: While my phone calls and meetings with her have been difficult, as her son has brought me to tears more than once with his behavior struggles, she is one of the kindest, most supportive parents I have had the pleasure of meeting. She truly wants what's best for her son, and respects me as a professional. She is kind and easy to talk to, both taking my severe calls seriously and celebrating with me when I call for happy reasons.
Today was a happy call. She called to thank me for the patience I have shown her son this year, and to tell me what a good teacher I have been for him. We both rejoiced at the progress her son has made in the past few months, making almost a complete turn around (while he is no angel, he has come SO FAR). It meant so much to me to both hear her supportive, positive comments and to celebrate with her about her son, both of our voices so filled with pride. I know I will never forget her son and what he has taught me, but also I will never forget her. I hope that I can be a mother like that one day: one who sees the good in her child, sees his potential for greatness, and sees the other adults in his life not as competition or under scrutiny, but allies in the fight for her child's well being.
I truly teach for moments like this: moments of feeling that my time is appreciated, moments of celebrating my students' growth, and moments of just love love loving my job. These boys have just about given me gray hair this year, but I am so grateful that they were in my class, as they have taught me more than they can know.
While I have many difficult students, there are two in particular who tend to take the cake when it comes to disruption. Both have really great personalities and soooo much potential, and both have come so far this year. Both also have pretty severe ADHD that makes them impulsive and at times flat out out-of-control. Anyways, today, one of the two students brought me a small gift bag when he came into the room. I opened it over lunch and found a glazed ceramic puppy. (SO not my taste, but so, so, so adorable nonetheless). When I read the card from his mother and him, I was absolutely touched to hear that the two of them had glazed it together (it looked really professional!) and fired it. This student had also scrawled a note in the card saying, "Thanks for dealing with me." While part of that note makes me sad, part of it for some reason I can't explain is very touching. I will keep my little puppy statue on my bookshelf in the room next year, and always think of the adventures with this goofy student who both drives me CRAZY and makes me laugh.
Later, during my bookshelf-wrapping mania this afternoon, my classroom phone rang. On the caller ID I saw a familiar name and number--the mother of my MOST challenging student, with whom I have spoken so many times this year I had her number memorized at one point. Let me just take a moment to sing her praises: While my phone calls and meetings with her have been difficult, as her son has brought me to tears more than once with his behavior struggles, she is one of the kindest, most supportive parents I have had the pleasure of meeting. She truly wants what's best for her son, and respects me as a professional. She is kind and easy to talk to, both taking my severe calls seriously and celebrating with me when I call for happy reasons.
Today was a happy call. She called to thank me for the patience I have shown her son this year, and to tell me what a good teacher I have been for him. We both rejoiced at the progress her son has made in the past few months, making almost a complete turn around (while he is no angel, he has come SO FAR). It meant so much to me to both hear her supportive, positive comments and to celebrate with her about her son, both of our voices so filled with pride. I know I will never forget her son and what he has taught me, but also I will never forget her. I hope that I can be a mother like that one day: one who sees the good in her child, sees his potential for greatness, and sees the other adults in his life not as competition or under scrutiny, but allies in the fight for her child's well being.
I truly teach for moments like this: moments of feeling that my time is appreciated, moments of celebrating my students' growth, and moments of just love love loving my job. These boys have just about given me gray hair this year, but I am so grateful that they were in my class, as they have taught me more than they can know.
On packing, gift-wrapping, and kickball...
1. Packing
I do not like packing. Seriously. Packing sucks. This week has involved a LOT of packing/cleaning as I have been figuring out how to cram all of the "things" cluttering the classroom into my closet & cabinets (thank goodness I don't have to move classrooms next year!!! I am seriously doing a happy dance about that). It has not been easy, but after cleaning out all of the random junk left by last year's teacher, I was magically able to create enough space in which to fit all my "stuff." However, I can't help but already DREAD unpacking next year, as there was really no rhyme or reason to the packing and I'm certain that I'll never find half of the things again. (As much as I dislike packing, unpacking is way worse. I have a suitcase on my bedroom floor still from my trip to Florida. In MARCH. I think there are all of 3 things in it still, but honestly, I can't bring myself to finish unpacking. Yes, I know, I have problems...) Anyways, tomorrow all I have to do is roll up my reading corner carpet, stash all my frames and knickknacks in my desk drawers, and give my room a big "see ya later!" Feels weird, but good. :)
2. Gift wrapping
Who knew that packing up your classroom involved gift wrapping? Well, not gift wrapping in the truest sense of the word, but as I taped butcher block paper over my book cases and carefully folded the corners so that it was extra tight (I am not taking any chances, the books are SHOVED in there and with one false motion, who knows what might happen), I definitely felt like I was wrapping a really big, oddly shaped gift. My mom (a true craftsy lady) always shakes her head when I produce gifts shoved in a random bag I found in the basement, or at most manage to tape some paper on a gift and write "to ____ love amy" on it in sharpie. I am NOT exactly my mother's daughter in this area. (seriously, I'm pretty sure at one time she used to sell fancy ribbon bows. Her gifts are artwork.) Anyways, this was not my favoritest of tasks today either! But the bookshelves are all papered and taped up, ready to take on whatever befalls them during summer school and room cleaning this summer!!!
3. Kickball
Oh kickball...kickball, kickball, kickball...Okay, here it is. With two older brothers, I SHOULD be athletic. I SHOULD have learned to swing a bat and kick a soccer ball as a child. I SHOULD love sports. I don't. This is not to say that I don't love athletic activity, fitness, and the outdoors. On the contrary. But while my dad used to play hockey with my brother in our driveway, we spent our time riding our bikes in the forest preserve (something we still love doing). In elementary school I took piano lessons, not tennis. In high school I was president of french club and in band. (Please, please, please reserve your judgments. Believe it or not, I actually had friends in spite of these very geeky extracurriculars) Anyways, I have never really learned hand-eye coordination (or hand-foot coordination). So when we had the teachers v. sixth graders kickball game today, obv I did not jump at the chance to participate. You'd think the 23 year old teachers would be first in line, but THIS ONE SURE WASN'T! (much to my students' disappointment) Oooh well, maybe next year. Mrs. J assures me that we will practice and she will have me a kickball master before next field day. :) Mrs. J, good luck to you. ;)
I do not like packing. Seriously. Packing sucks. This week has involved a LOT of packing/cleaning as I have been figuring out how to cram all of the "things" cluttering the classroom into my closet & cabinets (thank goodness I don't have to move classrooms next year!!! I am seriously doing a happy dance about that). It has not been easy, but after cleaning out all of the random junk left by last year's teacher, I was magically able to create enough space in which to fit all my "stuff." However, I can't help but already DREAD unpacking next year, as there was really no rhyme or reason to the packing and I'm certain that I'll never find half of the things again. (As much as I dislike packing, unpacking is way worse. I have a suitcase on my bedroom floor still from my trip to Florida. In MARCH. I think there are all of 3 things in it still, but honestly, I can't bring myself to finish unpacking. Yes, I know, I have problems...) Anyways, tomorrow all I have to do is roll up my reading corner carpet, stash all my frames and knickknacks in my desk drawers, and give my room a big "see ya later!" Feels weird, but good. :)
2. Gift wrapping
Who knew that packing up your classroom involved gift wrapping? Well, not gift wrapping in the truest sense of the word, but as I taped butcher block paper over my book cases and carefully folded the corners so that it was extra tight (I am not taking any chances, the books are SHOVED in there and with one false motion, who knows what might happen), I definitely felt like I was wrapping a really big, oddly shaped gift. My mom (a true craftsy lady) always shakes her head when I produce gifts shoved in a random bag I found in the basement, or at most manage to tape some paper on a gift and write "to ____ love amy" on it in sharpie. I am NOT exactly my mother's daughter in this area. (seriously, I'm pretty sure at one time she used to sell fancy ribbon bows. Her gifts are artwork.) Anyways, this was not my favoritest of tasks today either! But the bookshelves are all papered and taped up, ready to take on whatever befalls them during summer school and room cleaning this summer!!!
3. Kickball
Oh kickball...kickball, kickball, kickball...Okay, here it is. With two older brothers, I SHOULD be athletic. I SHOULD have learned to swing a bat and kick a soccer ball as a child. I SHOULD love sports. I don't. This is not to say that I don't love athletic activity, fitness, and the outdoors. On the contrary. But while my dad used to play hockey with my brother in our driveway, we spent our time riding our bikes in the forest preserve (something we still love doing). In elementary school I took piano lessons, not tennis. In high school I was president of french club and in band. (Please, please, please reserve your judgments. Believe it or not, I actually had friends in spite of these very geeky extracurriculars) Anyways, I have never really learned hand-eye coordination (or hand-foot coordination). So when we had the teachers v. sixth graders kickball game today, obv I did not jump at the chance to participate. You'd think the 23 year old teachers would be first in line, but THIS ONE SURE WASN'T! (much to my students' disappointment) Oooh well, maybe next year. Mrs. J assures me that we will practice and she will have me a kickball master before next field day. :) Mrs. J, good luck to you. ;)
May 27, 2010
An End in Sight!!!
T-5 1/2 days left of school, 4 1/2 days with kids...not that I'm counting or anything ;)
Don't get me wrong--I'm not counting down because I can't bear the thought of spending another day with my class. Actually, that's not even close to accurate. I was looking at my class today and was just in awe of how far they have come this year. Yes, they still get too loud, forget their homework, and talk back. As we have gotten closer and closer to June, even the "good ones" have had a little extra sass. Yes, they make me crazy. But I have come to love this class. Today I was thinking about how they have been able to handle having their desks in table groups of 6, to participate in a very discussion/decision based social studies simulation, and to write for 30 minutes plus in their "wagon train" diaries, and some students ask for more time (yes, it did take a good 10 minutes to settle down and START, but once they did, they didn't want to stop). They have come a long way. I have come a long way. WE have come a long way.
I know in 5, 10, 20 years I will look back at this year as a pivotal one--they told me when I started here that if you can teach at my school, you can teach anywhere. While I don't know about that, I do know that no matter what kind of hoodlums walk into my room next August (this year's fourth graders are quite the wild bunch...if by wild you mean completely crazy), I will be able to get through it. I made it through this year, after all, right? (And hopefully never again will I stay in the building until 10pm on a Tuesday, or so late on a Friday that my car gets keyed in the parking lot...)
And so, as I peeled packing tape and sticky tack off my walls today while the kids had art class, and almost broke my neck trying to detach those nifty little things that hang from drop ceiling tiles, I began to feel a sense of closure. We have almost made it through the year. I didn't kill anyone, the kids didn't kill each other, most of them seemed to have learned at least a few things along the way, and I managed to keep the job for next year. All in all, that sounds something like a success, no matter how many tears were shed in the process. :)
Things to look forward to: A quiet records day tomorrow, trying out new furniture arrangements in the room Tuesday with my mentor, performing pioneer-inspired readers' theatre plays, staff end of the year party next Friday
Things I have mixed feelings about: Field Day (never really liked it even as a kid...I know, I'm THAT kid...), packing up the rest of the room
Things I am NOT looking forward to: Getting a bill for the text books my kiddos lost this year and claim are NOT at their houses (although my mentor insists this won't fall on me, I'm not so sure...it may be time to start throwing up some extra prayers to my good friend St. Anthony)
Don't get me wrong--I'm not counting down because I can't bear the thought of spending another day with my class. Actually, that's not even close to accurate. I was looking at my class today and was just in awe of how far they have come this year. Yes, they still get too loud, forget their homework, and talk back. As we have gotten closer and closer to June, even the "good ones" have had a little extra sass. Yes, they make me crazy. But I have come to love this class. Today I was thinking about how they have been able to handle having their desks in table groups of 6, to participate in a very discussion/decision based social studies simulation, and to write for 30 minutes plus in their "wagon train" diaries, and some students ask for more time (yes, it did take a good 10 minutes to settle down and START, but once they did, they didn't want to stop). They have come a long way. I have come a long way. WE have come a long way.
I know in 5, 10, 20 years I will look back at this year as a pivotal one--they told me when I started here that if you can teach at my school, you can teach anywhere. While I don't know about that, I do know that no matter what kind of hoodlums walk into my room next August (this year's fourth graders are quite the wild bunch...if by wild you mean completely crazy), I will be able to get through it. I made it through this year, after all, right? (And hopefully never again will I stay in the building until 10pm on a Tuesday, or so late on a Friday that my car gets keyed in the parking lot...)
And so, as I peeled packing tape and sticky tack off my walls today while the kids had art class, and almost broke my neck trying to detach those nifty little things that hang from drop ceiling tiles, I began to feel a sense of closure. We have almost made it through the year. I didn't kill anyone, the kids didn't kill each other, most of them seemed to have learned at least a few things along the way, and I managed to keep the job for next year. All in all, that sounds something like a success, no matter how many tears were shed in the process. :)
Things to look forward to: A quiet records day tomorrow, trying out new furniture arrangements in the room Tuesday with my mentor, performing pioneer-inspired readers' theatre plays, staff end of the year party next Friday
Things I have mixed feelings about: Field Day (never really liked it even as a kid...I know, I'm THAT kid...), packing up the rest of the room
Things I am NOT looking forward to: Getting a bill for the text books my kiddos lost this year and claim are NOT at their houses (although my mentor insists this won't fall on me, I'm not so sure...it may be time to start throwing up some extra prayers to my good friend St. Anthony)
May 23, 2010
Final Countdown
I admit, I have been MIA from the blog for the past few weeks! It seems like I go through cycles where I'll feel super pulled-together and settled into the teaching routine for a week or two, then super stressed out (and not necessarily for any good reason) for a few weeks. After a few crazy weeks, I'm feeling incredibly relaxed right now. It's official, it is late May and we are heading into the home stretch: 2 weeks left of school, and only 7 1/2 days actually teaching kids. It's surreal. A part of me can't help but think of graduation last year and all the many emotions I was feeling: happiness to be finished with class, sadness to be leaving college, excitement to be starting my career, complete heart brokenness to be leaving my friends, and in general a beautiful peaceful feeling about coming back home. The end of my first year teaching is bringing with it a similar ambivalence (a word I taught my fifth graders last week, and am very pleased to report that they have since been using it in class discussions).
If I had one of those giant "How are you feeling today?" posters, I would mark the following emotions:
1. Jubilant: Oh yes, I am nothing if not excited. Excited about sleeping in, minimal work this summer (just a few hours of tutoring a week), reading at least 10 books, vacations, and in general relaxing and recovering from the stress of the year. I am thrilled that in a matter of weeks I will never be a first year teacher again. :)
2. Frazzled: Ohh man, the end of the year is certainly crazy. Assemblies right and left, miscellaneous "to do" things, trying to strike a delicate balance between cramming things in to make sure they are wrapped up before the last day, and stretch other things out so we have something to DO until the last day...in short, it is crazy. This whole year has been an exercise in flexibility for me, the eternal planner, who has had to let go of some of my rigidity and learn to go with the flow a little bit...
3. Proud: Looking at my students' MAP scores over the past few weeks, I am overwhelmed at how far a few of them have come. I literally get tears in my eyes thinking about a few kids and their growth. There's the student who almost made me quit this fall because of his horrible behavior problems who (while he is no means an angel...) I now look at and think, "You have come so far. WE have come so far," and know that I am a better teacher because of him. Then there's the student who asked me in September if I could teach him how to use periods in his writing, and while he's hardly on his way to a Pulitzer, 9 times out of 10 he uses punctuation correctly. I am so proud of these children. And honestly, I am proud of myself, as cheesy as that sounds. In November, I never thought I'd make it to the end of the year. And here it is!!!
4. Wistful: While I am more than ready to say goodbye to some of my students, others I find it hard to imagine teaching without them in my class (especially that handful who were all that got me coming to school again so many days in fall). I will never forget this class--the good, the bad, and the wonderful. :)
5. Shocked: Some days I literally cannot believe that after the rocky start to the year, not only have I managed to survive, but I actually have a job for next year still and am excited to come back. :)
6. Content: These past few days I have felt so peaceful. While there is still more I would have liked to have done for my kids, especially a certain few extra needy ones, I really feel that I can put my stamp on the end of this year and say, "I gave it all I had, and I am happy with what I have accomplished."
7. Anticipatory: For the past few months, I have almost constantly been thinking about things I'd like to do next year. This year it took me months to even figure out a routine, and I am STILL figuring out so many organizational and management things. I know that every class is different, but I keep thinking about how much easier so many things will be next year, as well as how much better I will be next year. I'm excited to try so many new things, especially writer's workshop, and love the fact that my job has fresh starts built right into it.
The past week and a half or so has been nothing if not therapeutic for me. Although I have been a little stressed, I've had the opportunity to spend time with some of my best friends lately, and find myself almost nightly thinking about how blessed I am.
I'll update on the end of the year festivities/chaos in the next two weeks: records day, field day, packing up the classroom (I am STILL cleaning out stuff from its previous occupant!), and saying goodbye.
If I had one of those giant "How are you feeling today?" posters, I would mark the following emotions:
1. Jubilant: Oh yes, I am nothing if not excited. Excited about sleeping in, minimal work this summer (just a few hours of tutoring a week), reading at least 10 books, vacations, and in general relaxing and recovering from the stress of the year. I am thrilled that in a matter of weeks I will never be a first year teacher again. :)
2. Frazzled: Ohh man, the end of the year is certainly crazy. Assemblies right and left, miscellaneous "to do" things, trying to strike a delicate balance between cramming things in to make sure they are wrapped up before the last day, and stretch other things out so we have something to DO until the last day...in short, it is crazy. This whole year has been an exercise in flexibility for me, the eternal planner, who has had to let go of some of my rigidity and learn to go with the flow a little bit...
3. Proud: Looking at my students' MAP scores over the past few weeks, I am overwhelmed at how far a few of them have come. I literally get tears in my eyes thinking about a few kids and their growth. There's the student who almost made me quit this fall because of his horrible behavior problems who (while he is no means an angel...) I now look at and think, "You have come so far. WE have come so far," and know that I am a better teacher because of him. Then there's the student who asked me in September if I could teach him how to use periods in his writing, and while he's hardly on his way to a Pulitzer, 9 times out of 10 he uses punctuation correctly. I am so proud of these children. And honestly, I am proud of myself, as cheesy as that sounds. In November, I never thought I'd make it to the end of the year. And here it is!!!
4. Wistful: While I am more than ready to say goodbye to some of my students, others I find it hard to imagine teaching without them in my class (especially that handful who were all that got me coming to school again so many days in fall). I will never forget this class--the good, the bad, and the wonderful. :)
5. Shocked: Some days I literally cannot believe that after the rocky start to the year, not only have I managed to survive, but I actually have a job for next year still and am excited to come back. :)
6. Content: These past few days I have felt so peaceful. While there is still more I would have liked to have done for my kids, especially a certain few extra needy ones, I really feel that I can put my stamp on the end of this year and say, "I gave it all I had, and I am happy with what I have accomplished."
7. Anticipatory: For the past few months, I have almost constantly been thinking about things I'd like to do next year. This year it took me months to even figure out a routine, and I am STILL figuring out so many organizational and management things. I know that every class is different, but I keep thinking about how much easier so many things will be next year, as well as how much better I will be next year. I'm excited to try so many new things, especially writer's workshop, and love the fact that my job has fresh starts built right into it.
The past week and a half or so has been nothing if not therapeutic for me. Although I have been a little stressed, I've had the opportunity to spend time with some of my best friends lately, and find myself almost nightly thinking about how blessed I am.
I'll update on the end of the year festivities/chaos in the next two weeks: records day, field day, packing up the classroom (I am STILL cleaning out stuff from its previous occupant!), and saying goodbye.
May 2, 2010
To my student that lies and steals
Dear Student,
This has to stop--now. Your stories, your lies, your stealing--all of it. STOP. Friday, when I found out you had been lying to me in little ways all year, I looked at you in a new light. I mean, taking stickers is one thing. But cell phones? mp3 players? GLASSES??? [Yes, I learned that the glasses this child has been wearing all year were stolen. She does not WEAR glasses. I know.] I fear for your future--where will you be in 5 years? Next year, even?
I fear for you, and I ache for you. What happened in your life that caused you to do these things? What can we do to help you? What do you need?
I am at a loss. For now, unfortunately all I think I can do is keep loving you, and pray for you...
This has to stop--now. Your stories, your lies, your stealing--all of it. STOP. Friday, when I found out you had been lying to me in little ways all year, I looked at you in a new light. I mean, taking stickers is one thing. But cell phones? mp3 players? GLASSES??? [Yes, I learned that the glasses this child has been wearing all year were stolen. She does not WEAR glasses. I know.] I fear for your future--where will you be in 5 years? Next year, even?
I fear for you, and I ache for you. What happened in your life that caused you to do these things? What can we do to help you? What do you need?
I am at a loss. For now, unfortunately all I think I can do is keep loving you, and pray for you...
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