A little too much information, thanks...

I can't believe I forgot to write about this last week, but am so glad I remembered it now. As a teacher and a talkative person in general, I am rarely speechless. But every now and then, my little kiddos say something just unexpected and bizarre enough that I need a moment to scoop my job off of the floor. This was one of them last week:

"Hey Miss Teacher, did you know I consider myself part Canadian?"
"Oh really? Why is that?"
"Oh, because my mom started being pregnant with me while she was on vacation in Canada."
Deadpan...

When I am a mother, I vow never to share any information with my children about when, where, or under what circumstances they were conceived. I feel very strongly about this.
As disturbing as that was, it made me smile. :)
You can't make this stuff up, I swear!

Mmmmm Weekends :)

Things I Love:

• Not setting the alarm 
• Laying in bed as long as possible blogging and browsing the internet
• Lesson plans & grading at Caribou--nothing like a latte and some good music to make planning a little more enjoyable
• Afternoon naps
• And most of all...3 day weekends :)

Just enjoying some relaxing with old friends this weekend...a necessary thing after 2 weeks of school down! :)

Big ouch and Big disappointment...

Ouch.  That's what I'm thinking pretty much anytime I walk these days, or am even on my feet.  Here's why...

This past summer, I rekindled a long absent relationship with running, and fell in love in a big way.  My new BFF running and I got along great for a couple months, then after a VERY painful August run, we suddenly weren't on speaking terms again.  Oh, I tried calling, writing, standing outside the window holding a radio...but running just wouldn't have it.  

Let me explain...actually, it was my right tibia that would have none of this.  And I just found out that things are a LITTLE more complicated than I had first thought...Let's recap:

• August 4th: Went for an evening run and felt a dull pain in my right inner calf almost immediately.  I chalked it up to tight muscles, and kept going.  The pain quickly worsened until at about 1 1/2 miles it was too excruiciating to continue.  In fact, I wasn't even sure if I could hobble home the quarter mile to my house...After some googling, I diagnosed myself with shin splints, threw on an ice pack, and decided to take a few days off of running.
• August 5th: Woke up with a stiff leg, and could barely get out of bed.  I honestly could barely put weight on my leg to walk, and iced it almost constantly, limping around when I had to.
• August 10th: Calf had begun to feel marginally better.  I tried doing lots of extra stretches per recommendation from friends who'd had shin splints.  I decided I was ready to try a run, but the pain came back as intensely as before, and continued throughout the day leaving me with a pitiful limp.  Looks like running was absolutely the wrong choice, and the pain did not go away.
• August 14th: Visited primary care physician, who didn't agree with my shin splints diagnosis based on location of the pain.  X-rayed leg to check for stress fracture; no fracture found.  Diagnosis: tibial muscle injury.  Treatment: ice, rest, advil.
• August 16th-20th: Pain grew less severe, but was almost constant.  I was unable to put full weight on my right leg, and continued limping.  Having started the school year by this time, the whole "rest" portion of treatment wasn't really going well, as I am on my feet running around school all day.
• August 30th:  Went back to primary care physician to beg for a referral to a physical therapist or the like.  He examined my leg (my tibia bone has a big bump all down it BTW), and said he would like to see an MRI of the leg to help identify the muscle injury.  Posible future treatment of physical therapy, depending on the MRI results. Scheduled my MRI.
• September 3rd: MRI of right tibia. (Side note: I was super nervous to have an MRI, partially because I was worried my whole body would have to be in what I dubbed the "coffin" and partly because I'm a fidgeter and worried about keeping still.  It actually turned out to be the most relaxing part of my week, no matter how pathetic that soudns!  There is nothing like laying still surrounded by pillows listening to The Beatles on headphones for an hour+...)
• September 4th: Got a call from my doctor with the results of the MRI.  Turns out they did not find a muscle injury.  They found a bone injury...bummer.  Basically it was a tibial stress fracture with no distinct line, diagnosed as a stress "injury."  On the MRI you can see an 11cm injury to the inner tibial bone, which shows up as fluid on the bone as at heals.  No running allowed for at least 5-6 weeks (on top of the 4 I had already been healing), and see the orthopedist for more conclusive answers...

You can probably imagine how I am feeling right about now...As I have a history of over-training (for that matter, over-studying, over-preparing, you get the idea...), I started this summer of running vowing not to make that mistake again.  I read books about training, selected a plan after research, and STUCK TO IT.  I took rest days and did not run 2 days in a row.  I took it easy and increased my distance SLOWLY.  In short, I did everything I was supposed to do.

Yet here I am with a sore, swollen shin, already going crazy after 5 weeks of not running, with 5 more staring me in the face.  I am not a happy girl.

I have some suspicions about what might have caused the tibia disaster of 2010, since I wasn't overtraining, the usual culprit behind this type of stress injury.   My prime suspect is the fact that I switched to motion control shoes after years of running in neutral shoes at the recommendation of my local running specialty store.  The worst part about this is that, as a new runner, I went there SPECIFICALLY because I wanted an expert opinion on which shoes work best for my feet and gait.  Maybe changing to such a dramatically different shoe wasn't the best choice...

Well, this injury obviously rules out any prospect of the 5 and 10Ks I'd been looking forward to this fall, but I am not giving up hope on Disney Princess yet.  (Partly because I already paid a ridiculous $140 registration fee...)  My half training plan is 12 weeks.  So theoretically, I could be prepared for the race without running before late November.  That's not the BEST case scenario, because it's not such a good idea to come back from an injury and jump right into a training plan, but...we'll see.

And now, it's time for more ice...

My Rotten Brother

This year I have a lot of goals for myself, but one of the biggest ones is to implement Writing Workshop instead of the more traditional writing instruction I engaged in last year.  I wrote last week about the sweet lesson I taught on the first day of school, and I am still loving it as much as I did that day.
It's been a little challenging to just change my perceptions of what a writing block SHOULD be, because during these first weeks I'm not even reading the kids' work or conducting writing conferences yet.  What I'm doing is teaching Ideas lesson after Ideas lesson, getting the kids to start a bunch of different pieces so that they will be able to go back to the ones they like later.

Anyways, my penchant for picture books is no secret.  They are one of the few reasons I ever wonder if I'm teaching the right grade...but then I remember that picture books are not just for 6 year olds.  In fact, I enjoy reading them to older kids even more because there are so many messages in the good ones that are way over the little ones' heads.  One of my absolute favorite picture book authors is Patricia Polacco.  I was first captivated by her when my sixth grader teacher read us Pink and Say, then revisited her again in college when my methods ed teacher introduced us to Thank You, Mr. Falker, a book that chokes my up every time I read it.  In fact, many of Polacco's books get me all choked up.  Part of what touches me most is that her stories are all (or almost all) inspired by memories from her childhood.  In any case, I love sharing them with children.

This week I read aloud a favorite of mine: My Rotten Redheaded Older Brother.  Anyone who knows me knows that my brothers are very special people in my life.  The three of us rarely get to spend time altogether, as not only are we all busy people, but one brother lives in Florida.  However, that doesn't change the fact that when we are together, it's nothing but fun (with some teasing thrown in of course).  They are my heroes and role models. Anyways, Redheaded Brother is a special book to me.  In the story, 'Tricia and her bother Richie do nothing but fight.  He always wants to be better from her, constantly teases her, and she feels like she will never have anything that's all her own.  Typical younger sister complex. :)  In the end of the story, Tricia has an accident at the carnival and hits her head when she falls off a carousel.  Richie ends up carrying her all the way home, then runs all the way to the doctor to bring him to her.  It's a beautiful story.

I paused half-way through the story (when Richie still seemed like a big jerk) and asked my students to raise their hand if they have a "rotten sibling" at home, or if THEY are sometimes the "rotten sibling."  I told them a story about my Rotten Older Brother from childhood.  My oldest brother used to torment me when he was left "in charge" as the babysitter when our parents went out.  I have one vivid memory of a time when I was crying from missing mom & dad, and his plan to stop me from crying was to take my precious teddy bear Fred and put him on top of the ceiling fan.  He threatened to, if I didn't stop crying, turn on the fan and chop my bear to pieces.  Obviously an effective way to stop me from crying...

Anyways, my students giggled and grinned as I dramatically told that story.  Then, during "Writing Time" I sat and wrote the rest of it.  The next day, I shared it with them and they helped me restructure it.  While certainly most of a teacher's time during Writing Workshop should be spent in conferences and helping struggling writers, don't underestimate the value of writing along with your students.  Not only does it help form those precious relationships, but it sets a wonderful example for them, and it's just plain fun.  I promised I will tell them more stories about my "Rotten Brother" (who's not rotten at all anymore!) soon.

When a conversation really does help:

After my last post, I spent the entire evening frustrated about what that student had said about me and our class. I know I promised myself I wouldn't do that anymore--allow a ten year old to get to me, and bring my emotions home to ruminate on like that--but I couldn't help it.  It wasn't the behavior that was bugging me, it was that one comment about the seating arrangement.  I had kind of a, "How dare he?" complex about it...

Anyways, I pulled him into the classroom a little early in the morning and we had a long, calm talk.  And it was actually really positive.  I told him, in true Love & Logic form, "This is your chance to let me know what you're having a problem with and what you don't like in the classroom.  I can't promise I can change everything, but I can explain some things, and hopefully we can come up with a solution to others."  And we actually did come up with a few ideas.  I explained to him that I placed him with the kids at his team because I value his leadership skills.  Sure enough, the rest of the day he was stepping up and helping the kids at his team, even going above and beyond in math to help the boy at his table who constantly struggles.  It was beautiful.

I was SHOCKED though at one piece of information he shared with me during our conversation.  I sensed that he had a complex that I was a "mean teacher" before the year even started, and now I found out why.  It turned out that one of the quiet, just slides by with bare minimum but doesn't cause any trouble, kids from last year told him that I was "really mean to [student] last year," referring to my behavior problem student who constantly had melt downs and needed to be escorted to the office on a daily basis.  My jaw DROPPED.  I cannot believe it that that student is STILL following me around causing me problems, unintentional or not!

I explained some of the things that that student had done in class on a regular basis (throwing things, bullying kids, yelling and screaming, laying on the floor and not working, and talking back), and calmly explained that while I liked him and cared about him, there are consequences for any student who chooses to behave that way.  My goodness.  I never thought I would have to explain why there are consequences for incredibly disruptive, defiant behavior!!!

Anyways, it was a good day with this student after that talk.  Which goes to show you, while it might feel silly to talk to a ten year old like they're an adult, sometimes it really works.  Some kids just need to be shown that you value their opinions and see them as a real person with real things to say.  I'm sure our differences are not settled, but at least we are off to a better start to the year!

That's a new one...

Today was not my happiest of days at school.  While things are still going far better than last year, today I was pretty frustrated all day.  A couple of my boys are causing some problems, some routines are in need of reteaching, and I'm just feeling a little uneasy about my teaching in general (which tends to happen when something goes wrong--I unravel a bit...).  One of my "tough" boys was talking to his neighbors and shouting out answers ALL day long.  When he received a warning or consequence, he completely shut down.  This morning, it was lying belly down on his chair and refusing to do any work/participate.  Fine, I ignored it.  This afternoon, when I pulled him out in the hall to discuss his behavior from the morning and the consequences he would be receiving for it, it was laying on the floor outside of the room and refusing to come in for a good 20 minutes.  Then, at the end of the day when I pulled him aside to let him know I'd be calling his mom about the previous behavior, it was storming off before I could actually have a reteaching conversation.

Well, I called mom to fill her in, and when her son got home, she talked to him a bit before calling me back.  When we spoke the second time, she told me that her son had told her he's upset with me because the African American students in the class are seated "1 at each table group" (which isn't true for all of the groups, but is true at his group and a few of the others).

Yep.  Exactly what I was going for, buddy.  So that's why you're constantly disrupting class and acting defiantly by lying belly down on your chair?

Anyways, my reaction to the mother was a big old, "Ummmmm.....can't say I noticed..."  Honestly, there are so many things I think about when arranging seats.  2 boys and 2 girls per table.  2 lower kids and 2 higher kids.  Try to surround my chatter boxes and flaming tempers with mild mannered, mellow kids.  That is exactly what I had done at his table.  I explained this to mom, and she was not at all accusatory.  I apologized for any misunderstandings, and said I would touch base with him in the morning to share this information with him and problem-solve.

I have been dwelling on this all night though, because I am honestly pissed off.  The truth is that this child is probably mad at me both for giving him a consequence, calling his mom, and probably partly because he's not seated by one of his best friends.  Which he will continue to not be because of the previously mentioned problems.  Anyways, he's mad, making excuses for his behavior, and trying to get me back.

Sigh.  I'm just glad this exhausting, long day is over.  Tomorrow is another day.  I will not let a ten year old get the best of me or unnerve me.  I will keep trying tomorrow.

What to do with the 5th graders who can barely read...

Last year, I had a handful of painfully low readers.  This year, I am very quickly realizing that I didn't even know what low was... Let me clarify.  My school uses the Fountas & Pinnell assessment system to level our readers.  The system assigns students with a letter level based on their fluency and comprehension reading a passage at that level.  Anyways, I asked the literacy specialist to F&P a few of my low readers this week so I could get an idea of their levels.  A 5th grader should typically be around a level S to start the year, and move up to a U by the end of the year.  A few of my little kiddos came out to a level I...and I have 1 still to be tested that I am certain is lower that that.

Yikes.

What does this mean to me?  Well, when I got that news it really just depressed me.  My goodness.  How will I ever meet their needs?  I have no students with identified special needs, so that means I don't get additional classroom support from SSTs (basically special ed push-in teachers).  That means it's up to me to teach these 1st and 2nd grade reading level kids, along with their grade level peers, and a handful that are way beyond grade level.  I promise I won't get too deep into complaining...but I just really don't know where to start.

It breaks my heart to think about how these children got so painfully far behind in something as critical as reading.  I know that there are probably unidentified learning disabilities at stake, but so much also comes down to moving schools frequently and not growing up in a home environment that fosters and encourages reading.  How will I ever be able to catch them up?  How will I ever be able to meet their needs without neglecting my other students?

What does this mean to my teaching?  Well, this is going to be a tough year of teaching literacy, that's for sure.  Not only does it looks like I will have 5 guided reading groups, but with kids that low, they are WAY below comprehension level for even my approaching leveled readers.  Also, they will be able to do very little reading work independently.  I will have to find some creative ways to get them double doses of reading instruction throughout the day, and to modify work to make it more accessible.

I'm really nervous about this, I have to admit...as a young teacher, there is so much I have to learn still, and it's daunting to think that the responsibility for these kids falls on my shoulders.  Of course, it doesn't ALL rest on me.  They will get intervention services because they are Tier 3 kids, and will work with other teachers during our built-in intervention block.  But still...I'm worried.

I guess I will commit once again to doing my very very best this year, and working as hard as I can.  A little luck wouldn't hurt too, so keep your fingers crossed...we could use a reading miracle over here!!!

Might seem like small potatoes, but...

First week down, and here's how I know we're on the right track:

• The kids knew exactly what to do when they came into the classroom this morning
• They also knew exactly what to do after lunch
• When I took them out for an afternoon recess, they started lining up IMMEDIATELY when I raised my hand as the "time to go back inside" signal
• The floor was clean at the end of the day again today
• Everyone turned in their homework 
• They paid attention and giggled through a 2-chapter read aloud from Sideways Stories from Wayside School (I could barely have last year's group sit together on the carpet because they'd always be "bothering each other")

Here's how I know I'm doing my job:

• When I told one kid I still hadn't seen the Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie, he told me he owned it and offered to bring it in so I could borrow it
• I got a paper cut during lunch time and had two students in the room making up some homework.  One is a student who I know will be a challenge this year.  He has had a great first week, but I know that he has some emotional problems and has had both a tough life and a history of behavior problems (the latter being due to the former).  Anyway, as I was grabbing myself a band-aid, this student looked up from his work and asked, plain and simple, "Is it okay?"

^That may not seem like much, but it made my entire day.  This child has been at 8 schools in the past 5 years, comes in late frequently and occasionally stays home for no reason other than that he doesn't have a family supportive enough to make sure he's in school, and I'm sure has a million other things going on that neither can I understand or imagine.  And he's making sure my paper cut is okay.  3 simple words that show we are on our way to building a relationship.  I teach for moments like this.

This is going to be a good year.

And now I'm off to lay on my bed and read, all I want to do (other than sleep) this entire weekend... :)

Second Year Teaching > First Year Teaching (the understatement of the century)

Last year, when school ended Thursday afternoon of the first week, I was crying at my desk because I was beginning to realize that, while I had felt prepared finishing student teaching and graduating with honors from college, in reality I had no idea what I was doing.  I vividly remember the first two days of school going smoothly, then Thursday reality setting in.  The kids were chatty, they weren't following my directions, and I was ALREADY bogged down by planning, etc.  So much for a honeymoon period!!!

This year, the very same day, I am feeling exactly the opposite.  I am astonished at how quickly we have settled into a routine.  (It helps when you actually know what kind of routine you want the students in!!!)  I think the reality of the success hit me when, after school, I picked up 1 little piece of trash and 1 pencil from the classroom floor.  Last year, the floor would be covered with garbage every day, no matter how many times I told them to clean up.  This year, I have students signing in and out to use the bathroom, and doing it correctly 90% of the time.  Last year, I still couldn't get them to sign out correctly in May.  The difference?  It is a million times easier to teach a routine correctly the first time and continue to reteach that same routine than it is to teach a routine, then change it, then change it again, and hope the students can keep up.  Yes, this year is better.

Another celebration of the day: yesterday when I launched Daily 3: Read to Self I was a bit nervous when the students only built up 1 min 30 seconds of read to self "stamina."  I left feeling like we had a looong way to go!!!  Today, they made it up to 15 minutes!!!  I felt like doing a happy dance!  It was like they all decided that this was a goal they wanted to achieve, and worked for it together.  Amazing.  I was sooo proud.

Some not so thrilling parts of the day:

• Crazy mom continuing to criticize, this time about things I haven't even DONE yet, but that she seems to be anticipating I will do...for example, her writing me a note saying her gifted child needs to be challenged and that this is MY job to do, not HER job to do at home. (did i say it was???  I love gifted children and am HAPPY to challenge them!!! I've worked with gifted kids in summer for 3 years!)
• One of my tough guy students writing in his get to know you letter to me that I should know, "If u be mean to me I be mean to u."  Alright then!  (My response?  Obv, "I never be mean to students who behave--like i know you will!!")
• Discovering just how low some of my students are in reading...yikes.  I am already nervous...I have my work cut out for me!!

Musings on Day 2

2 days down.  I'm too exhausted to write a true entry (mostly because I just stuffed my face with a veggie burger and fries from my favorite local burger joint), but wanted to share a list of my observations and thoughts so far...

• This class seems less chatty than last year, but I'm sure this is part of their grand scheme to get me to let my guard down before exploding in chatter next week...
• Seems like I have a great group of girls this year and probably won't have to worry about them trash talking each other by writing on bathroom walls (oh last year...), at least I hope...
• Might have more trouble with the boys this year...how I miss my handful of chill boys from last year who managed to mellow the others out most of the time!
• Some of my kids are low.  I mean L O W.  I have my work cut out for me...
• I've decided that this week I'm not worried about the aforementioned statement and am focusing on "training" them in all my routines
• Routines = life blood of a smooth running classroom.  I can already see the difference from last year.
• It's important to follow through with logical consequences right from the get go.  Which is why we spent time practicing walking in the hallway today...
• Our first day of Read to Self left us with 1 1/2 minutes of reading stamina (meaning our class can read on task 1 1/2 MINUTES before someone is off task--although this is mostly just wandering eyes, we still count it).  Oh boy...this should be interesting.  
• This one parent is going to drive me completely up the wall.  She already had a problem with my first assignment...sweet.
• Some of these kids are going to be tough, but I'm working hard at building the relationship.

One last thing to share:  As part of my quest to make this the year of Love and Logic, the following words came out of my mouth today, and were largely effective:

• "On a scale of 1-10, how good a choice is that?  Thanks for giving it some thought."
• "Just because I like you, should I let you get away with that?"
• "Feel free to play appropriately on the slide or have a seat on the bench."
• "It looks like you're having a hard time getting started on your work.  Would you work better at your desk or on the floor?"

Tomorrow's Plans/Goals/Wild aspirations: add books to students' book boxes based on their reading interest inventory surveys, rearrange desks again, help the kids reach 5 minutes of read to self stamina, be consistent with my consequences (aka actually give consequences), love and logic the heck outta these kids, take a moment throughout the day to personally connect with each student, survive another day :)