November 13, 2010

Baby, just look at us now!

I caught up with my 2nd year teacher soul sister from my building this evening on the phone--for teaching in the same building, we haven't seen much of each other at all lately.  It's been a couple busy weeks in a row, so it was nice to compare notes and chat without glancing at the clock every 30 seconds to see how much more time was left in the lunch period.  We started talking about how rough October and November of last year were.  I believe her exact words were that last October she used to "lay in bed and cry" most nights.   I decided to go back and look at my posts from this past week in 2009, and reread this one:

November 9, 2009

I want to quit.  I can't remember any of the reasons I got into teaching anymore, 
and I just don't know if it's worth it.  I just need one thing to go right tomorrow.
I can't handle this.

^And I meant it, too.  This time last year, I remember thinking about how many months were left until summer, and feeling like there was no way in hell I would make it through.  It seemed impossible.  That day was a real low point.  My whole life I have known I would be a teacher; I think sometimes that this profession chooses you, not the other way around.  So it honestly felt like my world was crumbling...this job I'd dreamed about for years, not only was I finding that maybe I was BAD at it, but I hated it.  HATED it.  And could not imagine coming back another DAY, much less a week, the school year, or year after year to come.

Let me be clear: This year is no picnic.  I have tough kids, I lose my patience, I still yell.  I do my best, but there are many days I know I could have and should have done better.  I get frustrated still.  But at no time this year, for a single moment or even a split second have I thought, "I will not make it through this," or, "I want to quit."  And this is something to be very happy about.  
This picture is actually from student teaching:
Playing a science game, to be precise!


  1. This is my first year teaching, and November was HARD. I actually went to my principal crying and saying "I can't do this anymore!" Luckily, she was very supportive and said "stick it out 2 more weeks, then come talk to me". I'm so glad she said that, because I can't even imagine not doing this now :)

  2. here's my blog post about it!


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